Papu Or Radio Station

Ek bar Papu ne live radio station call ki: hello ji ye radio station hai?
Radio station: han

Papu: meri awaz pura shehar sun rha hai?
R.S. : han

Papu: yani tandoor wale k pas jo radio hai wo B sun rha hoga?
R.S. ghusa se: Han.

Papu: hello Gul khan agr meri awaz sun rhe ho to roti mat lana me le aya hun.

THAPAR

Mom: Beta khana khayega?
Beta: Na
Mom: Ladu khaiyega??
Beta: Na
Mom: Mithai Khaiyega?
Beta: Na
Mom:ice creame khaiyega?
Beta: Na
Mom: Baap pe gaya hai THAPAR hi khayega

Nawab_G Aur Rishta

Nawab_G:yaar mere liye achi si larki ka rishta bata

Blue:yaar aik larki hai b.com ki

Nawab_G:yaar ksi bhi qom ki ho bs prhi likhi honi chahiye..

Smart Nawab_G

Smart Nawab_G

1 bache ne  Nawab_G ki dukan se Rs.45 ka saaman liya or use 5 k note me 5 k aage pencil se 0 likh kr diya or kaha Ye lo 50Rs.. or 5Rs.
Vapas do..
.
. Nawab_G  ko pata chal gaya or usne socha iska badla lena chahiye..
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Usne jeb se 50 ka note nikala or uska 0 pencil se kat diya r bola ye
le 5Rs. Ab to Hisaab
baraabar:p

How Much Do You Love Me ?

Wife : How much do you love me ?

Husband : I love U so much, I can't measure.

Wife : No just tell me....

Husband : Okay, I am like a cell phone&you are my sim card, i am nothing without you...

Wife : Wow ! that's so romantic...

Husband (saying to himself): Thank God she doesn't know, this is a Chinese phone, with FOUR sim cards...

Bechara Student !

Teacher: Tum late kion aye ho? 

Student: Ammi Abbu lar rahy thay eslie

 

Teacher:Wo lar rahay thay tu tum kion late aye

 

Student: Mera ek joota ammi ke pas tha owr ek abbu ke pass!!!

 

   

I Love You

Ist Friend : Larkion ko "I love you" bolny ki sab se achi jagah konsi hai?

 

Second Friend : Daata Darbar

 

Ist Friend : Kion ??

 

Second Friend : Kionky wahan larkiyon ne chapal nahi pehni hoti

 

 

Dil Me Apne Armaan Chhupa Ke Hum Chale

Larki ki Rukhsati k time dulhe ka Mobile Baja

Dulhan ne dulhe ko Kas keThappar Mara

Pata hai Q....?

kyu ki.... dulhe ki Mobile Ki Ringtone
Thi

Dil me apne armaan chhupa ke hum chale
Aaj hum apni maut ka sama'n utha le chalea

History Ka Paper

Baap: Beta Tm History K Paper Me Fail Qn Ho Gy Ho
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Nawab_G: Subhi Question Us Wqt K Thy Jb Ma Paida B Nai Hua Tha

Anni Dia Putra TAMBOO Koi Le Gya

2 dost safar pay ja rahe thay
Rastay main raat ho gai wo tamboo laga kar so gay

Adi raat ko 1 ki ankh khuli us nay 2nd walay ko jaga kar kaha asman ki traf dekh kr btao kya nazar ata ha

2nd:Bohat saray sitaray

1st:Is se kya pata chalta he

2nd:yehi k asman khubsurat or roshan ha

1st:

Anni dia Putra TAMBOO koi le gya

Ultimate Bezzatti :P

Ultimate bezzatti
Girl= Janu So Jao Na Dekho Rat Ke 2 Baj Rahy Hain.,
B0y= Neend Nahi Aa Rahi.,
Girl= Jan Q Itna Sochty Ho Mere Bary Mein, Itna Pyar Karty Ho Mujh Sey.
Main Tumhari Hi To Hoon.,
B0y=
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Oye chal ja apna kam kar Chudail ...
Mujhe "PAPER" ki Tension Lagi padhi hai or tujhe apni Ishaq ki
 

Nawab_G And His Friend

Nawab_G apne dost k ghar se apne
ghar jane laga to bahar barish ho
rahi thi..
Dost:" aaj mere paas hi ruk jao
barish bohat tez hai..
Nawab_G:" ok
.
.
Dost ne bistar lagaya or dekha to
Nawab_G gayab tha..
1 ghante baad Nawab_G bheegta hua
aya or kehne laga..
.
"Yaar me ghar walo ko batane
gaya tha k aaj barish ki wajah se
mai ghar nahi aa
sakunga

Molvi Sahib App Ki Fees ?

Nikah kay bad Dulha: Molvi sahab app ki fees ?

Molvi: Dulhan ki khubsurti kay mutakib dey do

Dulha nay 10 rupy diye aur chal dia ,, achanak say hawa kay jhonke say Dulhan ka Ghonghat uurh gaya

Molvi sahib: Abbe miyan baki kay pese to le jao ,,,,

Pen Hai Pen?

Ladka : Pen hai pen?
Ladki : nahi hai...
Ladka : Pen hai pen...???
Ladki : kaha na nahi hai....
.....Kuch der baad.......
Ladka : Pen hai pen...??
Ladki : kitni baar bolun nahi hai...
dubara pucha toh hathoda se maarungi...
Ladka : Hathoda hai..?
Ladki : nahi hai...
Ladka : Toh phir pen hai pen......??

Boy To The Perfume Seller

Larka perfume ki shop wale se:
1 perfume de do
main apni GirlFreind k ghar dinner pe ja raha houn
.
Phir bola 2 Our de do, uski Sister bhi bohat khobsorat hai usay bhi line dena hai &
Us ki Mom abhi tk young
hai...us ko bhi chakar mein rakhna hai,bohat paisa hai us k pas.

Dinner pe jaise hi GirlFreind ka Baap aaya
Larka sar jhuka k beth gya

GirlFreind:
Mujhe nahi pata tha tum itne sharmely ho

Larka:
Mujhe b kab pta tha k tumhare Baap ki
Perfume ki Shop hai

Boy to Girl :D

Boy to Girl
Aap k Pa0n bohat Khobsurat hain....!!
<
Girl 
To main kiya karun?
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Boy.=.
Kiya ye Pa0n mere Bachon ki Jannat ban sakty hain? 

Bharosa

Ek bar engineering ke sabhi Professores ko
ek plane mein bithaya gaya..
Phir announce kiya gaya ki
“YE PLANE APKE STUDENTS NE BNAYA HAI”
Sab profesrs utar gaye…
Par principal baithe rahe
Logo ne pucha: Aapko Darr nahi lgta?
Principle: Muje apne studnts par pura bharosa hai.
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.:
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:,
Ye start hi nahi hoga!!

Girl To Man

A man got a call from unknown number…

Girl: Hi, r u single?

Man: Yes, but who r u?

Ans: Your wife.
Aaj ghar aana tab bataoogi.

Another call from unknown number…

Girl: R u married?

Man: Yes, but who R u?

Girl: Your girlfriend,
U cheat!!

Man: Sorry baby, I thought it was my wife.

Ans: Wife hi hoon 
 

,

aaj tu bas ghar aaja..!

Little Love

Little Love:
Ami Mera Teacher Kitna Pyara Hai Na?

Ami:
Little beta Teacher Bap k Brabr Hota Hai..

Little Love:
AMI Ap Hamesha Apne Hi Chakar Mein
Rehna,
Hamare Liye Na Sochna…

Naukrani Aur Malkin

Naukrani: Malkin Aap Udaas kyo hai
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Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyar karte hain. . . . .
Naukrani: Nahii,Aise nahi he .
Sahab Mujhe dhokha nahi de sakte ..

Define Student?

A student is not the one who reads the book before exam!

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But, the one who writes a new book during the exam...! 

Oh Sorry , Wrong Number

A person makes a call from USA to his wife.

Servant picked up the phone.

Aadmi: Memsab se baat krwao.

Servant: Par memsab to sahab k sath kamre main so rahi hain.

Aadmi: Par sahab to main hu.

Servant: Ab main kya karo'n?

Aadmi: Maar do dono ko , Main hold karta hu.

After killing

Servant: Lashon ka kya karun?

Aadmi: Ghar k peeche swimming pool mein phenk k bhaag ja.

Servant: Par ghar k peeche to swimming pool hai hi nahi.

Aadmi: Oh sorry , wrong number..!!

Moral

1 CHURAIL ne 60 saal k shadi shuda jorray se kaha;
Main tum dono ki 1 khawahish puri ker sakti hun!
 

Bevi : Main apnay shohar k sath sari duniya ki sair kerna chahti hoon,us ney chharri ghumaae, 2 tickets aa gaey.phir shohar sey poocha tum btaao kya chahtey ho.
 

Shohar: Mujay apney sey 30 saal choti bv chahiay.
Churrail ney chharri ghumaae or shohar ko 90 saal ka kar dia.
 

Moral:
merd ko yaad rakhna chahiay k churrail bhi aurat hoti hai   

Itna Sudhar Gaya Hu

Girl : Cigarette peena chodd do
Boy : Chodd diya
Girl : Beer peena bi chodd do
Boy : Chodd diya
Girl : Good Aaj se roz subah shaam masjid jana shuru karo
Boy : Theek hai Aaj se roz masjid jana shuru
Girl : Haayee Jaanu So Sweet, Mujse shaadi karoge?
Boy : Nahin
Girl : Kyun
Boy : Itna sudhar gaya hu, Ab tumse achi koi mil jayegi B-)

Police Aur Chor

ek chor ko police dh0ndh rahe thi
ch0r jaldi se jhulay me late geya,or feedar munh me daal lia..

P0lice kya kar rahe ho?

Chor,FEEDAL PEE LAHAA HUN UNTAAL

police,jaldi piy0o phr,PEEP PEEP Pe jaen ge 

Father To His Son

Father to his son- How was the paper?
Son- bas pehla sawal chut gaya.
Father- acha,aur baki?
Son- 3rd mujhe ata nahi tha,
4th main karna bhul gya,
5th mujhe nazar nahi aya nd 6th paper ki pichli taraf tha meine dekha nahi.
Father gusse me bola- aur 2nd ques?
Son- bas sirf wahi galat hua hai

DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH

The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing.......

except One Student
 

He writes 

"DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Sweet Fact

Sweet Fact

If a Girl has balance in her cell, then she definitely has a boyfriend..

And If a Boy has sufficient balance in his cell, then he surely does not have any Girlfriend..
 
 

Santa And Banta

Santa 500 k note pr likha nmbr dial kr rha tha 

Banta- ye tum kya kr rahe ho?

yar me dekh raha hu gandhi ji to chale gaye par unka mobile kiske pas hai
 

Santa Had a Dream

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him. Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was: We make your dreams come true...

Girl (Boy Ko Jealous Feel Karane K Liaye)

GirL (boy ko jealous feel karane k Liaye)

Dekho woh Larka meri taraf dekh
ke muskura raha he


Boy: Yeh to kuch bhi nahi,


Jab maine pehli baar teri shakal dekhi thi to 3 din tak apni Hansi Rok nahi paya tha me

Wahan Pe Bhi Line Lagi Hui Hai

2 ghantay aatay ki line main khara rehte huye
ek aadmi ghussay se chillaya. Men Zaradari ko goli marnay ja raha hoon.
Kuch dari baat woh wapas aakr aatay
ki line main khara ho gaya.
Kisi ne pucha.
“Kyon Maar Diyaa?
Usne maayusi se jawab diya.
Wahan pe bhi line lagi hui hai

Teacher & Pappu

Teacher... such aur veham main kya fark hai

Pappu.....app humein parha rahi hain ye such hai

aur hum parh rahe hain ye app ka veham hai

Public Toilet Me

Public Toilet Me Baithe Aadmi Ko
Sath Baithe Toilet Wale Ki Awaz Ayi
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Kya Haal Hai Yar
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Wo Ghabra Kar Bola Fine Thik Hu
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Phir Awaz Ayi Kya Kr Rhe Ho
Usne Kaha Kuch Nai Tumhari Tarah Baitha Hua
... Hu
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Phir Awaz Ayi Mai Abi Aa Jau Tumhare Pass Kya
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Aadmi Ghabra Kar Na Na Na Mai Abi Busy Hu
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Than Awaz Ayi Yar Mai Baad Me Call Krta Hu
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Pta Nai Kaun
Dusre Toilet Se
Meri Har Baat Ka Jawab De Rha Hai...

Chahat

Wife: Btao Tumhe Main Kitni Achchi Lagti Hoo'n

Husband: Bahut Zyada

Wife: Phir Bhi Kitni

Husbnd: Itni Ki DiL Chahta Hai Tumhari Jaisi 1 Aur Le Aao'n

Ye Student Nahi MASTER He

Govt.School K Bache Kisi Ko
Ghaseet K School
Le Ja Rahe The

 

 

Buzurg: Ise chord Do Parna hoga
to Ye Khud School Aayega.





Boys: Ye Student Nahi MASTER He

BEWAQOOF ka RADIO

BEWAQOOF  ka RADIO kharab ho gaya, usne khol k dekha to andar ek mara huwa CHUHA mila.

Yeh deekh kar BEWAQOOF gussy se bola!
Chalega kese? Sala singer hi mar gaya..!

Class Ka Group Photo

Teacher. Class Ka Group Photo Dikhatey Huye:

"Jub Tum Baray Ho Jao Ge Tou Herat Se Photo Ko Dekho Ge Aur Kaho Ge Ke:

Yeh Nida Hai Jo Amarica Chali Gai.
...
Yeh Sana Hai Jo Londan Chali Gai.

Yeh Pappu Hai Jo Wahin ka Wahin Hai".

Pappu Jal Kar Bola:

"Aur Yeh Humari Teacher Hain Jin Ka Inteqal Ho Chuka Hai"

Two Girls

Two girls are traveling in a train

Girl-1: Tujhe kaisa pati chahiye?

Girl-2: Mujhe Crorepati chaiiye.

Girl-1: Crorepati na miley to?

Girl-2: 50 lakh ke 2 pati chaleñge.

Girl-1: 50 lakh ke na miley to?

Girl-2: 25 lakh ke 4 pati bhi chaleñge
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UPPER birth pe soya hua

Pappu bola: JAB YE 1000 RUPAYE
PE AAYE
TO MUJHE UTHA DENA..!!!!!

Agar Electric Invent Nahi Hota

Teacher: Agar Electric Invent Nahi Hota To Kya Hota?

Student: Hume Candle Jala Kar T.V. Dekhna Padta!
 

Girl Friend To His Boy Friend

Girl friend: meri ami ko tum bohat pasand aye ho

Boy Friend: (sharmate huwe)

kuch b ho,per me shadi tum se hi keron ga

khala ko bolo mujhe bhool jaye

Kash Aap Sms Hote

Wife:-Janu kash aap sms hote,
main aapko save karti,
jab chahe padhti..
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Husband:-kanjus kahi ki,
sirf save
hi karti....??
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Apni saheliyo ko forward nahi
karti...??.

Hr Jaga Mufta Acha Nhi Hota

Ek Admi Pepsi samne rakh k Udas betha tha

Dost aaya pepsi ka glass pi gya or bola:
Yaar q udas hai.?

Admi bola:
YAar Aaj ka t0 din hi bura hai,

Subha bv se jhagra hogya,

Rasty main Gaari khrab ho gaye,

Daftar late puhncha
t0 boss ne nokri se nikal dia,

Ab khudkushi k liye pepsi main ZEHAR milaya tha
wo glass bhi tu pi gaya....
.
.Dost kyaaaaa?

<Moral>:Hr jaga Mufta acha nhi hota.

Suit Bara Acha Pehna Hai

Boy : Suit bara acha pehna hai

Girl:Thanx

Boy:lipstik bahut achi lagai hai
G:Thanx
B:make up bhi bahut acha kia h
G:Thanx "bhaiya"  
B:Phir bhi achi nahi lag rahi ho.....